what seems perfect is imperfect

Welcome to my 'perfect' life..

I'm free from any routine tight schedule like 80% people in this crowded city have

When people have to wake up early, maybe around 5am to get into office..I'm still holding my warm blanket tightly

When people are stucked in a stupid traffic damn just to get home, at the same time I might be home.. watching any hillarious movie, having dinner with my beloved friends, or just going somewhere with my awesome buddies to enjoy the night

I lived in a house with 2 of my close friends from college
I have no job this time, so actually I can use my time to do what i have to do..
no more calling from any annoying customers, no more scoldings from my boss, no more deadlines
I lived far away from parents, so I can have a nightlife.. I got drunk, I smoked, I can hang out with my friends till dawn..
I have a beloved dongsaeng..the one who cheer me up every day
the one who always take care of me every time I got drunk.. take me some clean clothes, give me tissues, hold me tight when I'm about to fall..
the one that so special to me.. my precious

and then, when everything seems so 'perfect' in my imperfect life..
again, I hear the clock is ticking
my dongsaeng has to go.. away from me, to a busy life outthere.. to find her treassure
I got this feeling long time ago before it happens..I had a dream, that she passed the test to be a flight attendant

Actually, I got a feeling yesterday..
I spent some time with her in my place, had lunch together, go to bucks..
but when it's time for her to go home.. I felt it was hard to let her go
after she has gone, 3 hours without her felt like a day..
I never had this kind of feeling before.. it's too much, I thought I over-reacted
but, today I know the answer..
I got a feeling!
that maybe I have to let her go very soon..

It hurts.. I'm sad, really really really sad
I don't want to eat
I don't want to play
I feel cold
I smoked, a lot
I cried, a lot
It doesn't feel right
and suddenly this thought crossed my mind..
'is this happen because i'm so damn good as her sunbae??'
I mean.. in the end, everybody's leaving
in the past my ex and my close friend told me that i'm too good for them
and they can't be that good for me.. finally, they 'left' me
I still connected with them untill now, but some part of them are lost from me

This time I do have some great time, being her sunbae..
we're a perfect match for each other
but maybe life seen that my 'perfect' life.. 'perfect' role is imperfect
so it should takes my dongsaeng.. far away from me
damn, it hurts.. hurted me so deep

But even in this 'cloudiest' time, I still waiting for our next intersection
I still hope that our value won't just vanish.. when we're apart
2 years, maybe more.. I wish we can work it out together
I will..I will..

shitty perfect life, let me down today..