Terribly damaged

I'm terribly damaged..

I can't understand why I have such a great power to let them destroy my self
but..
I'm so powerless to just trusting someone who always stand by me
just to hold a hand that always try to reach me

why I can't just remember the good memories
and forget the reality?
why I'm not even dare to take a love that sincerely given to me
why I can't stop my mind from those evil things
and just move on with my life

One thing failed.. okay
2.. yeah still okay
3.. damn it!! it hurts, but gotta be strong
4..
5..
 ............

I'm lost
lost to be a person I used to